I always thought Web 2.0 had evidently gone unnoticed by my ISP, O2 Broadband, but then I came across an ISP who are still struggling to master Web 1.0: GISP. GISP is the Zimbabwean state internet provider and I came across a manual on their website which simply has be amazed.
Heck, I’m scared. Apparently ‘hackers can destroy all computers of the world connected to Internet.’ and using a search engine is apparently ‘browsing information by use of random search’ and a general use of the internet is apparently ’satanic’.
Also, I’ve been making a key error when switching my machine off over the past decade. Instead of turning the speakers off first like I am told to by GISP, I have turned the monitor (or screen in GISP lingo) off first!
Back-ups of the Internet are remarkably easy to do too. Instead of relying on the Wayback Machine or Google cache, all you need to do ‘to get a hard copy of information on the internet’ is:
# Search and get the desired information.
# Click the printer icon, then, press okay on whatever instructive dialogue which comes out.
# Your information is printed out, that is if you have a printer connected to your PC.
Internet in Zimbabwe isn’t cheap either. At the official exchange rate of ZW$30,000 to US$1, I’d be paying almost GB£150 a month for a dial-up connection or GB£5400 for a 64kbps leased line. Fortunately, the unofficial exchange rates are a bit more generous charging me about 6p a month for dial-up or about £2 for a leased line.
Sadly, because my PC isn’t dedicated just for Internet access and it isn’t a Pentium so it does not meet the minimum requirements for a dial-up connection in Zimbabwe. Oh well.
If you have ‘any queries suggestions’ just contact them at G.I.S.P. Service Provider. [service provider service provider?!] sic P.O. Box 7700. [sic] Causeway. [sic] Harare. [sic] Zimbabwe. [sic] Alternatively, give them a call at +263-4-722604.
Disclaimer: All of this is 100% genuine information from their manual etc!
