55 reasons you shouldn’t use the Wikipedia

Wiki — Joe Anderson @ 8:38 pm Tuesday 31 July 2007

Reddit Digg!

  1. There is no cabal! I mean what lousy website doesn’t have a cabal?
  2. The Wikipedia’s like Britannica… but for Commies.
  3. The Wikipedia isn’t controlled by a group of fat Westerners
  4. It’s controlled by only one: Jimbo Wales!
  5. Your history lecturer doesn’t like it
  6. A neutral point of view is boring
  7. It tries to hide the biggest cover up in human history: the librarians are hiding something!
  8. It’s free (gratis). The Britannica costs infinitely more and therefore must be better!
  9. Daniel Brandt doesn’t like it
  10. But Daniel Brandt isn’t notable enough to have his own Wikipedia article! Oh, and he also thinks that Google and Yahoo! are evil too!
  11. Who can take a Klingon encyclopaedia seriously?
  12. Even the English Wikipedia isn’t in English!
  13. They don’t let you violate copyright!
  14. You’re not supposed to vandalise it. What’s the point in a wiki you can’t vandalise?!
  15. The Star Wars article is longer than the Star Trek one (56.3KiB vs 38.4KiB!)!
  16. It isn’t very secure… you can edit pages
  17. Treason!
  18. Wikipedians actually find this funny
  19. The article for ‘42′ is for the year and not the meaning of life!
  20. Since when is Tony Blair (Right) Honourable?
  21. Consensus is a horrible thing! To think that more than one opinion has to be listened to! How democratic! How appalling!
  22. The Wikipedia has lots of systematic bias unlike that ‘other’ wonderful encyclopaedia.
  23. Since when should encyclopaedia be spelt encyclopedia?
  24. The Uncyclopedia is much more factual
  25. And the Encyclopedia Dramatica is much more… umm… dramatic!
  26. There are no adverts. I want something to brighten up reading about the Disputation of Tortosa!
  27. It keeps asking for a donation. Just like a beggar. Why doesn’t it go and get itself a job?!
  28. They’re greedy with their PageRank sticking nofollow to links where credit’s due!
  29. There are more atheist Wikipedians than Lutheran ones and the population of elephants has tripled in the last 10 years
  30. Wikipedians dominate all the protocols: BitTorrent, email, IRC, USENET and even the HyperText Transfer Protocol!
  31. The Wikipedia obviously prefers chavs to nerds, with the chav article being many kilobytes longer!
  32. One word: wikiality!
  33. In the fine words of Larry Groznic 2 years ago: “How can you justify a “Weird Al” biography of only a paltry 850 words?”
  34. It’s a hivemind… just like the Borg. Is Jimbo Wales the Borg Queen in disguise?!
  35. Jimbo’s cheating on Google
  36. The co-founder defected to form another project.
  37. A website’s too popular when it is mentioned in The Simpsons Comics
  38. In Communist China, you don’t read the Wikipedia, it’s blocked
  39. The Wikipedia is not a social network, crystal ball or anything else besides an encyclopaedia but it is quite possibly V’ger
  40. The Wikipedia is the World’s largest encyclopaedia… for trivia!
  41. What respected publication doesn’t use an all rights reserved copyright?!
  42. That white background uses a lot of electricity!
  43. The site is bigger than many countries with nearly 5,000,000 registered users on the English Wikipedia alone! Too much influence…
  44. My government edits it
  45. The German government pays people to edit it
  46. The US government vandalise it!!!
  47. The Wikipedia thinks that it is a certain Abrahamic religion.
  48. Most of the 1.9 million articles are about Pokemon!
  49. The Wikipedia is so arrogant that it has a page that says “I invented the Internet“!
  50. I’m sorry, but who really cares about an uninhabited island in the Outer Hebrides or an islet in the middle of the Atlantic?
  51. The Wikipedia says that America is the third biggest country in the World… Britannica disagrees!
  52. Why do you think the article on acne is over twice the size as the article on love?
  53. Not feeding the trolls is cruel!
  54. Open formats are boring… I mean really who reading this actually knows how to play an OGG video?
  55. The Wikipedia is one big massive multiplayer online roleplaying game… not an encyclopaedia!


I am actually a Wikipedian and this article is meant to be humourous and not offensive to anyone (including Wikipedians and Jimbo Wales!).

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7 Comments »

  1. lmfao … i did wonder for a second from the headline.

    Comment by ender — 31 July 2007 @ 10:55 pm
  2. Joe Anderson stated for the record: “I am actually a Wikipedian and this article is meant to be humourous…”

    And now I know why the “humour” on Wikipedia is not funny…

    Comment by Stu — 1 August 2007 @ 2:57 pm
  3. Brilliant – kill the wiki nazis! lulz

    Comment by Conrad Slater — 1 August 2007 @ 3:19 pm
  4. Is this a joke ?

    Comment by didi — 1 August 2007 @ 4:16 pm
  5. I certainly hope so didi!

    Comment by Joe Anderson — 1 August 2007 @ 4:32 pm
  6. Great post, Joe. Pity you added that disclaimer; no need to, was there really? Your research is commendable, brilliant and at times hilariously pithy. Loved it.

    Comment by Nils — 1 August 2007 @ 5:24 pm
  7. [...] has a 55 reasons why you shouldn’t use Wikipedia that made my Sunday [...]

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